AV2OC Day 75 (Pay Attention)

Make eye contact. Look them square in the eye. Make a note of their eye color.

I have a hard time believing someone who is talking to me and not LOOKING at me ! Don’t you? I can always tell when one of my students is “fibbing” because their eyes look away from mine while they are talking. The eyes are the window to the soul, someone once said, and I believe this to be true. When you are talking to someone, let your soul shine through those windows of yours! Eye contact will let the person that you are talking to know that: a) you value their opinion of you, and b) you stand behind what you are saying! This content is used with permission.

Good eye contact is important for inter-personal skills.  A couple words of caution.  Strong eye contact can be intimidating, some people may shrink back if your gaze is too strong.  Also, strong eye contact between the opposite sex can create the wrong affect.  I think you get the point so no need to elaborate.

Generally, looking at the person whom is speaking to you is good practice.  Maintaining consistent eye contact along with nodding and “yeah” is a great way to let the person know you are “paying attention.”  Paying attention is really what it is all about.

On weekends I work in the lobby of a church and often there are several hundred people buzzing around.  One of the things I try to do when someone is talking with me, is to keep good eye contact.  It’s hard, I don’t get it right all the time; but when I do I know it means a lot to the other person.

Our Pastor Rex Keener has mastered this practice.  It amazes me how disciplined he is in this area.  If you ever get the chance to chat with Rex in our lobby, I’m confident you will have his attention.

AV2OC Day 74 (Share your skills)

Teach someone a skill that you know. Have them be an apprentice under you for a period of time.

One of the ways that I learned to improve my ability to speak in public was to spend a lot of time with a couple of people who did just that – spoke in public. I would watch how they moved, how their hands moved. I would listen to when they paused and how they interacted with their audience. I became a student of public speaking and learned by watching my two friends who did it well. If you do something well, think about passing it on to someone else. Then your skill will live on, even after you’ve gone. This content is used with permission.

Today my executive pastor shared something with me.  It was simple and not very glamorous but it was something I didn’t know before today.  Just the fact that he took the time to share with me his practice was valuable.  Thanks Bill.

Is there someone that could benefit from what you have learned?  My guess is YES!  So, today look for the opportunity to share something you have learned with someone you know.  Who knows maybe they will share something with you…

AV2OC Day 72 (Take interest)

Ask how someone important to the other person is doing. It could be a child, a spouse, a family member, even a family pet.

The most sincere way that you can verbally care about someone else is by caring about who they care about! Doesn’t that make sense? When you see someone who has children it is always a great conversation starter to ask , “How are those wonderful kids doing?” If you know that someone’s dad recently had surgery, go ahead and ask how the recovery is coming along. In fact I feel so much more valued by my friends who ask about my family, it takes our friendship to another level, like they are part of my journey instead of looking at my life from the outside, they are with me adding value by caring about what I cherish. (It is not being nosy to ask about your friend’s family members if you do it in a friendly and sincere manner.) This content is used with permission.

Honestly, that says it all.  Take interest in the people around the person you care about.  Adding value to someone today by asking how their kids or parents are doing.  Go ahead it won’t hurt a bit.

AV2OC Day 71 (Notice the Small Things)

Try to notice something unique about a person that might typically be overlooked (nice earrings, nails done, hair cut, on time for work, etc).

In a world of flash and bigger is better you could really make the day of someone else by pointing out something about them that is going against the tide of fashion! My wedding ring is an antique, it was passed down to me from my grandmother on my mother’s side, it is very special to me. Whenever I am at church or an engagement where there are older ladies one of them always comes over to me and says that my ring is just like their mother’s wedding ring. They get such a kick out of seeing an antique that reminds them of a special person in their life. My husband has offered to get me a new, more up to date ring. I always tell him that my ring may not be the trendy-two-carat that all of my friends seem to have, but it does get a lot of nice complements from my older friends! I enjoy having a unique and special piece of my family history to wear, and for all the kind older ladies that value its significance I will continue to wear it proudly!

Notice the small things… People like to express themselves in simple ways, consider the story above and the wedding ring.  I have a necklace I like to wear, I bought it in Africa and to me it is a way to show my penchant for travel and missions work.  Sometimes people make a comment and that give me an opportunity to share a little more about myself.  Next time you are talking with someone and you notice a small piece of jewelry or other accessory make the comment who know you may get a story.

Although not directly related to this post here are a few quotes about small things:

We can do no great things, only small things with great love.  — Mother Teresa

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. –Mohandas Gandhi

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. — Dalai Lama“.

AV2OC Day 70 (let go of some power)

Allow another person to take the lead in the accomplishment of a special project or task.

If you have ever been asked to do a job that you, yourself, did not think you could pull off, you know the sensation of being s t r e t c h e d. If you are in a leadership position and can assist a person in being stretched to another level, you should! Do not be afraid to relinquish power, because as we all know there is someone above us too…and don’t we want the challenge from the Powers That Be (over us)? Valuing someone that is in an underling, or a even in a lateral position, by allowing them to have a taste of glory will bring more experience and accolades to them, but also to you! Most likely your boss will recognize that you are not a show-boater and that you are a team player! Everyone likes team players, show boaters–not so much! This content is used with permission.

The big idea hear is that we add value by empowering others, by giving up some “power” and let someone else take the reigns.  This of course can be risky one wrong decision and your to blame. It’s a risk worth taking.  Giving someone the opportunity to learn, to grow, to s t r e t c h is a great way to ‘add value.’  Go ahead try it… let you kids or one of your reports lead something and ask them about the experience.

AV2OC Day 69 (Describe, don’t prescribe)

Delegate toward outcomes rather than telling someone how to do a task.

When you teach, you learn! How many times have you had to teach someone something that is seemingly simple, but as you begin to explain, you realize, hmmm, this is harder to explain than it is for me to just do myself! There lies the temptation to just do the job yourself everytime that it comes up! Well, to add value to another person, try delegating the task that you usually would just handle yourself. You will be passing on knowledge and helping this person to gain competence in another area; but remember once you have trained someone, you have to let them go and put their own signature on the task. It is like when a dad is asked to change a diaper for the first time, the mom really wants the help and extra pair of hands, but she cannot complain if the diaper is placed backwards for the first few times! Teach, delegate and then let go! You must let the person feel valued and empowered in order for them to want to help out in the future. This content is used with permission.

Provide the parameters you needs something to be accomplished, then let go.  Allow your delegate to be creative and make the detailed decision in HOW they want to accomplish the task at hand.  When we can describe what we want instead of prescribing the method in which we want it done we empower others to action.  In this we add value by allowing them to do, to learn, to be create.  So give it a try, the next time you have a project instead of telling someone the “how to’s” offer them access to the resources they need and describe what it should look like and let go.  Hold people accountable to the result.

AV2OC Day 68 (Be sincere or go home)

Be sincere in your sincerity. Sincerity is something that you cannot fake.

This is the true difference between adding value to some one else and trying to sell them something! We all have a sincerity meter inside of us and we can detect a salesman three blocks away, can’t we? Adding value to someone else is a pure and sincere gesture. If you are not “feeling it”, neither will the other person! Try your best to do the selfless favor without any other motivation..your sincerity will shine through!  This content is used with permission.

This is a good one to practice!  If you cannot be sincere, if you really don’t care about the person you are communicating with,  trying to reach or if you don’t believe that the product or service you are offering can really help someone then your in the WRONG business.  Go find something that you be honest and real about because your not just playing others your playing your self.  Ok, I’m off the soapbox… Seriously, if you can’t be sincere, honest, and genuine then there is a really problem that needs to be addressed.  Be sincere… care about the people you work with or serve… listen to there needs and put them before yourself… nauf said.

AV2OC Day 67

People often need to be challenged to improve, change, or step out of their comfort zones.

Think about coming into a meeting and your boss says to you,”I think that you are ready for a bigger territory!” wow..that is a rush, isn’t it?! Your boss has instantly made you feel ten feet tall! Think about a time when someone’s words of encouragement has changed the way you viewed yourself! Usually it is a time when someone believed in you enough to give you a bigger challenge! Remember when your folks told you that you could take the car out for the first time? They showed you that they trusted you with their CAR! Looking back on that myself, I realize that my folks were using some basic psychology on me! They expressed their trust in my good judgement and allowed me to have a privilege that I did not even think that I was ready for! I was challenged to actually be responsible! It worked, I began driving at age 16 and never had an accident while living under their roof! I was empowered by my folks and was allowed to step into an adult world at a pretty young age. I would have never abused that trust..it was as sincere as the day is long. Whether you are 16 or 60 there are times when others can help us find our wings and soar out of the nest we are stuck in. Who can you help to find his wings by giving them a nudge/challenge? This content is used with permission.

AV2OC Day 66

Practice the Golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Perhaps the greatest idea of what it means to add value to others that’s ever been mentioned. Enough said. This content is used with permission.

This is actually a quote from Jesus.. so really this should be a no brainer.

AV2OC Day 65 (share)

Use the Web 2.0 model. Give things away for free. If you have provided a useful and meaningful product, people are happy to return and pay you for more.

I love the age of beta-testing and free trials and online software that helps someone with a specific task…all for FREE! People like free. People feel good about what you’re offering when you offer it to them for free. It seems that the rise of Web 2.0 has created a stronger sense of sharing on the internet. As a kid, I learned to be good at sharing what I had with others. What happens to us when we grow up? This content is used with permission.

As described this is basically all about sharing.  Sharing your experiences, your skills, your knowledge with others.  Sharing adds value to everyone.  Call it Web 2.0 or call it generosity it is still offering what is in your hand as opposed to clinching your fist and keeping whats yours.